Tagged with politics

LESBIANS BROKE MY T.V. AERIAL

LESBIANS BROKE MY T.V. AERIAL

Every fact you will ever need to know about Lesbian Tornadoes – and I don’t mean aircraft piloted by gay girls. Also contains damning evidence that God hates Lancashire, along with a video of Vicars doing a catwalk show. In other words, the usual HBNW drivel. *Some facts may be twisted. Continue reading

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Danny: A Melancolonic Tale

Danny: A Melancolonic Tale

As an HB/NW I’m used to viewing the world with a degree of cynicism.  Today, I thought I would try to see things from a different point of view and to embrace joy from the smallest of things.  The trouble is, I picked the wrong subject matter…    I first met Danny just after his … Continue reading

Semi-Nude Politics!  It’s the Future!

Semi-Nude Politics! It’s the Future!

After reading the paper today, it’s become crystal clear to me that our politicians want to look like idiots.  Education Secretary Michael Gove is backing a plan to tackle truancy by recording the school attendance of three year olds…  who don’t actually have to take part in any formal education anyway.  Gove is looking to … Continue reading

Kerplunk: The Movie Gets the Green Light!

Kerplunk: The Movie Gets the Green Light!

Spring is here, and Hollywood FX departments are frantically putting the finishing touches to this year’s output of summer blockbusters.  Amongst this year’s crowd pleasing batch of avenging  superheroes, space jockeys and young girls kicking bottom in future dystopias comes the inevitable toy tie in movie… This year it’s the turn of the boardgame Battleship … Continue reading

Stonehenge, Shopping and Stargates

Stonehenge, Shopping and Stargates

It surely can’t be long before Pan Man appears on Britain’s Got Talent 2012 and, as a nation, we must be ready. With this in mind, I really should get to the shops and buy a saucepan, in order to spice up my sex life before the inevitable rush… Naturally, I’ll be going to the ‘mall’ or, … Continue reading

My Murdochtastic Global Franchise

My Murdochtastic Global Franchise

It’s been just over a fortnight since HB/NW went live so it’s about time I expanded my global empire. Not content with providing top quality tat to all three of you, I’m about to ‘do a Murdoch’ – no, not bug your phone, talk drivel about you in a daily rag and/or hijack your favourite … Continue reading

Pastygate

Pastygate

Picture the scene – you’re a hard working person, slogging your guts out trying to make ends meet in a global recession.  You may even be a public sector worker in the Northern town of Crapsville,  suffering from frozen pay scales and a limp (Don’t worry – you have an NHS appointment to see a … Continue reading

ARMED WOMAN VIOLATES COWELL IN THE TOILET REGION

ARMED WOMAN VIOLATES COWELL IN THE TOILET REGION

It has been revealed that an armed stalker managed to smash her way into Simon Cowell’s toilet area. The assailant – who had arms, hence my google friendly hyperbole within the title – allegedly managed to get into the superjudge’s bathroom on Saturday night. I’ll say from the off that any stalking, breaking and entering … Continue reading