Tagged with dramality

BREAKING NEWS:  Pan Man Heralds Age of the Super Human

BREAKING NEWS: Pan Man Heralds Age of the Super Human

It’s finally happened – Pan Man has exploded into the public eye, possibly damaging the public retina in the process…   Last nights Britain’s Got Talent 2012 provided the primetime stage as pan wielding performance prat Martyn Crofts warbled ‘King of the Road’, while glottally gobbling in order to sound like a Dalek. Larynx legend Martyn, employee … Continue reading

ARMED WOMAN VIOLATES COWELL IN THE TOILET REGION

ARMED WOMAN VIOLATES COWELL IN THE TOILET REGION

It has been revealed that an armed stalker managed to smash her way into Simon Cowell’s toilet area. The assailant – who had arms, hence my google friendly hyperbole within the title – allegedly managed to get into the superjudge’s bathroom on Saturday night. I’ll say from the off that any stalking, breaking and entering … Continue reading

The Voice – Marinaded in Nicejuice

The Voice – Marinaded in Nicejuice

Judged by a black eyed pea, an Irish scamp, a Pantene ProV advert and Aslan, The Voice is an experience that comes with a carefully crafted ‘positive spin’ on the talent show format.  Rather than taking the Britain’s Got Talent approach – turning up in a city, opening a Zoo and picking a few interesting … Continue reading

Has Been… Never Was…

Has Been… Never Was…

I’m a Has Been – a showbiz creative, now placed on the back burner due to my age and inability to compromise when it comes to doing more ‘young and trendy’ material. Actually, scratch that… to be fair, I’d do anything any TV executive asked me if it would give me a boost to my … Continue reading