What is an HB/NW ?
A Has Been who Never Was – essentially, someone who had a few scrapes and hundreds more near misses within the creative industry – never quite reaching his or her potential – and who now has to struggle in order to resurrect what little career he or she might have had.
How does that affect your outlook on life ?
We’re usually bitter, cynical, angry, tired and possibly inebriated.
What career did you have ?
I’ve been a freelance editor, lighting cameraman, TV writer, performer, poet… I’ve even produced my own comedy series but no-one watched it…
And what do you do now ?
My wife goes out to work and I drink all her money away.
No. I am a full time stay at home Dad – I look after two children, pretend to do housework and write comedy. Then I drink all her money away…
Do you enjoy being a full time Dad ?
Well, I do like going to parent and tots groups, where I entertain the two year olds… What can I say… It’s a gig…
Do you think you will ever truly ‘make it’ in the entertainment world ?
Just because I was born in the wrong place, at the wrong time, with the wrong destiny doesn’t mean I should lose all hope.
What can I expect from a typical HB/NW article ?
Much of what I do on HB/NW is written to provide comic social commentary with a definite slant towards the entertainment industry. I’m attempting to make a ‘comeback’, so a lot of articles will focus on my tears of inner pain when yet another of my showbiz opportunities gets flushed down the toilet of hopelessness. I’ll also be writing some general stuff to make people laugh – in the hope that they’ll share it with hundreds of other people and I can finally have my life back!
How ‘real’ are the articles on this blog ?
Like any good reality shows, there’s a certain amount of ‘dramality’ in there. I’m not saying that the things I write about are untrue – what I am saying is that they’ve been played up for comic effect. The core of the experiences that I share are genuine.
So your daughter didn’t try to snap her own foot off then ?
No… it came off all on its own…
And you’re not really as miserable, wine soaked and media obsessed as you pretend …?
Look, how long is this going to go on for ? These are the sort of questions that come out in therapy.
Last question then. Tell us a bit more about yourself… What do you like on your hamburgers… that sort of thing…
Sorry – I never reveal my sauces.
© Nova Amiko and The Has Been Who Never Was 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Nova Amiko and The Has Been Who Never Was with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.