Semi-Nude Politics! It’s the Future!

After reading the paper today, it’s become crystal clear to me that our politicians want to look like idiots.  Education Secretary Michael Gove is backing a plan to tackle truancy by recording the school attendance of three year olds…  who don’t actually have to take part in any formal education anyway.  Gove is looking to support children from ‘the poorest backgrounds’ … presumably by pressuring pre-schools with unnecessary paperwork and ladening on the guilt to parents who are perfectly within their rights to give little Johnny a fun day out instead of going to playschool.  It’s a great way to encourage a free and easy, relaxed educational attitude towards toddlers isn’t it  – develop a witch hunt in order to catch non-existent tiny truants, thus ‘fixing’ a problem that doesn’t even occur at that age.  It is a move of such sensational stupidity that it’s almost not worth mentioning in a satirical blog, as doing so just makes me look lazy by not making other stuff up as good as this…

This has got to stop! If only there was an easier way for these clowns to flaunt their fatuity so that they could then relax and get on with some serious business…

With this in mind, I think that all high level politicians should conduct business in their underpants.

It's a serious business

Think about it for a moment…  Not only would it demonstrate, in no uncertain terms, how rotundly bovine our politicians are (in body as well as in spirit) but it would also stop too much political posturing.  Although the BBC Parliament channel would look like a tubby, hairy version of Babestation, at least any melodramatic masquerading would result in unwanted nipple jiggle.  Our leaders would therefore have to think before hitting their points home… as it were.

But what about the female politicians ? Naturally,  it would be fine for them to wear bras, unless of course, they are dyed-in-the-wool Feminists who have insisted on burning their boulder holders.  The thought of a bunch of hardcore sisters sticking to their traditional principles, thereby allowing middle aged mysogenists to gawp at their jubblies, brings to mind the lyrics of Alanis Morissette, who really ought to read this article in order to discover the true meaning of the word ‘ironic’.


I can see that I’m losing my female contingent… I didn’t say that the changeover to a ‘stripped down’ Parliament would be an easy one…

…and to be honest, I haven’t really thought things through properly, have I ?

Of course, there would be great successes in bringing our leaders down to size – think of the glances at Tony Blair’s crotch during an embarrassed admission that his weapons of mass destruction couldn’t be found…  But for every one of these high points, there would be moments when the semi-nude political platforming could spectacularly backfire – imagine George Galloway’s choice to wear a thong with STOP THE WAR emblazoned  in fairy lights…

For those not in the know, George Galloway is known as a ‘little bit of an attention seeker’ – famously seen on Big Brother, mewing like a cat in some kind of psycho-sexual game with another housemate.   George is now a ‘Respect’ MP – One again Alanis,  please take note of how the word ‘ironic’ really works.

There’s also the European Parliament to consider… and the thought of seeing BNP leader Nick Griffin in his Y-Fronts.  Griffin is head of the racist British National Party – and currently serving as a member of the European Parliament.  (Another one there for you Alanis!).  Nasty Nick already looks like a walking, talking fish in a wig so the thought of seeing him with his belly hanging out, whispy outgrowths of pubic hair clearly visible, makes me a little bit sick in my mouth.

I can see further problems in Brussels, as the coat room would have to be expanded to accommodate all the discarded clothes and the E.U. can’t do anything right.  There would be every chance that Nick’s items of apparel would be waylaid in the place and, upon returning to collect his things,  Griffin would be forced to wear a burka left behind in the lost property drawer (Alanis!).  Imagine what looks like a nazi haddock trapped in a letter box… lumbering around Brussels, angrily growling at anyone who isn’t a white anglo saxon protestant Briton!  Chilling!

Am I being unkind there ?  Perhaps it’s morally dubious of me to single BNP racist Nick Griffin out for a round of bigoted prejudice simply because of what he looks like…

(For god’s sake Alanis – you must have the concept by now…)

So, what do you think dear reader ?  Should our politicians strip down to their keks in order to be truly transparent about their asininity,  or should we, the people, accept that, no matter what they wear, our politicians already show off far too much of their inner shortcomings … ?

Either way,  I can say this with certainty… Semi-nude politicians would bring a whole new meaning to the term diplomatic pouch.


© Nova Amiko and The Has Been Who Never Was 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Nova Amiko and The Has Been Who Never Was with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.


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