LESBIANS BROKE MY T.V. AERIAL

LESBIANS BROKE MY T.V. AERIAL

Every fact you will ever need to know about Lesbian Tornadoes – and I don’t mean aircraft piloted by gay girls. Also contains damning evidence that God hates Lancashire, along with a video of Vicars doing a catwalk show. In other words, the usual HBNW drivel. *Some facts may be twisted. Continue reading

BREAKING NEWS:  Pan Man Heralds Age of the Super Human

BREAKING NEWS: Pan Man Heralds Age of the Super Human

It’s finally happened – Pan Man has exploded into the public eye, possibly damaging the public retina in the process…   Last nights Britain’s Got Talent 2012 provided the primetime stage as pan wielding performance prat Martyn Crofts warbled ‘King of the Road’, while glottally gobbling in order to sound like a Dalek. Larynx legend Martyn, employee … Continue reading

Danny: A Melancolonic Tale

Danny: A Melancolonic Tale

As an HB/NW I’m used to viewing the world with a degree of cynicism.  Today, I thought I would try to see things from a different point of view and to embrace joy from the smallest of things.  The trouble is, I picked the wrong subject matter…    I first met Danny just after his … Continue reading

Semi-Nude Politics!  It’s the Future!

Semi-Nude Politics! It’s the Future!

After reading the paper today, it’s become crystal clear to me that our politicians want to look like idiots.  Education Secretary Michael Gove is backing a plan to tackle truancy by recording the school attendance of three year olds…  who don’t actually have to take part in any formal education anyway.  Gove is looking to … Continue reading

Kerplunk: The Movie Gets the Green Light!

Kerplunk: The Movie Gets the Green Light!

Spring is here, and Hollywood FX departments are frantically putting the finishing touches to this year’s output of summer blockbusters.  Amongst this year’s crowd pleasing batch of avenging  superheroes, space jockeys and young girls kicking bottom in future dystopias comes the inevitable toy tie in movie… This year it’s the turn of the boardgame Battleship … Continue reading

A Moment of Pause…

FORWARD – (inserted April 12th 2012) The following piece is not the usual HB/NW article… It’s something that I wanted to say after reading someone else’s blog – and sometimes, things just need saying, whether it ‘fits a brief’ or not.  It’s something that might get moved around should I start another, more personal blog but … Continue reading

Stonehenge, Shopping and Stargates

Stonehenge, Shopping and Stargates

It surely can’t be long before Pan Man appears on Britain’s Got Talent 2012 and, as a nation, we must be ready. With this in mind, I really should get to the shops and buy a saucepan, in order to spice up my sex life before the inevitable rush… Naturally, I’ll be going to the ‘mall’ or, … Continue reading